Personal na buhay. Buhay ng Kapitbahay Kaskwela Katrabaho. Showbiz. Pelikula. Politika. Ekonomiya. Musika. o wala lang, yan ang makikita mo dito. Libreng tumambay. Hindi bawal ang magreact, di bawal ang sumang ayon, di bawal ang kiligin, maiyak, matuwa, matawa, matae. Upo na dito. Shot mo na!
Basa.Isip.Basa
“ Things will go where
they're supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course.
Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it's time for
them to be hurt. Life is like that..
” -Norwegian Wood
No matter how much time you spend thinking of the days and the time that has long been gone it won't bring back the past. If it's over then it's done so get over it. I don't understand why I keep on forgetting this every so often I would remind myself but i tend to forget it over and over again. hm whatever.
Anyway I am faced with several dilemmas and I don't know how to get along with it. I miss the time when the only dilemma i had was whether to buy pinipig or ice buko. I guess its true that the older you get the more responsibilities you have, the more responsibilities you have the wiser you should be. I guess i'm not wise enough for the responsibilities given to me, as if i have a choice. Maybe I'll become wiser as I do these responsibilities, maybe years from now when I look back at these dilemmas I will look at them like how i look at the pinipig or ice buko dilemma now.
Sanay na sa plastik na pagkain ng ministop Sanay na sa almusal na hindi sinangag na kanin Sanay nang matulog nang hindi nagdidinner kung minsan Sanay nang mag almusal ng chicherya at kung anu ano pa Sanay nang matulog sa sala paminsan minsan Sanay nang maginternet sa maingay at may kabagalan na PCs ng internet shops
Konti pa.. masasanay na din akong kapusin ng pera paminsan minsan.
Konti pa masasabi ko na din na "Sanay na ko sa krisis"
Put your player on shuffle and hit the 'Next' button to get your answer to every question. You must indicate the title and artist, no matter how far-fetched it sounds. Tag people who might be interested in doing this same thing. No cheating.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Frailty - Urbandub
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Ligaya - Eraserheads
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Lemon - U2
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Fruitcake - Eraserheads
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Too much - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? You wouldn't like me - Tegan and Sara
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Everything will be alright - The Killers
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Signal Fire - Snow Patrol
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Life Less Ordinary - Carbon Leaf
WHAT SONG WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Time after time - Quiet Drive
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? The Backeground - Third Eye Blind
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? I'm a pirate, you're a princess - PlayRadioPlay
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? So Sorry it's over - Blink 182
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Teenage Dirt bag - Wheatus
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Ironic - Alanis Morissette
HOW WILL YOU DIE? Dead wrong - The Fray
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Morning Glory - Oasis
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? A Sunday - Jimmy Eat World
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Until tommorow - Paramore
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Listen - Stonefree
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? 4 in the morning - Gwen Steffani
Thesis. Productions. Finals. The January pervert. Cried a few times, regretted a lot of things. Lost my phone. Lost myself. Fucked up month. Needed time for myself. Decided to go on Hiatus, to get rid of people I don't need in my life.
Learn how to play the game of trust, know who deserves it, never mind those who don't
Never be afraid of losing people who don’t deserve your time and attention, take the courage to let go and throw them out of your lives
“It’s when problems are shared that solutions are found” – From Chowking’s fortune cookie 01-18-08
“In the end you will always go back to the people that were there in the beginning.” – text quote from Jenny (That’s why I never take my friends for granted... mawala na lahat wag lang pamilya ko at sila.)
“Sometimes it’s not love, sometimes, you’ve just become so attached that you’ve developed a need for that person... Just a need, not love... but you’re too scared to admit it, even to yourself...because you know that if you do, you might lose the only person that actually gives a damn about your life” – text quote from Heyna
Learn to accept and love yourself, walang ibang gagawa niyan kundi ikaw... hindi kailangang nakadepende palagi sa iba ang pagiging masaya.
February:
Hiatus lasted until 11th of February. Started with a blast. Good vibes. Firsts. The longest yet shortest walk . One time big time. Three years ago we were strangers, snap! then we became friends. Finding myself. Brought back the old me. Valentine's darlings for the day with the Singles. A month of finding oneself, month of happiness and dreams turning in to reality.
Don't stop dreaming, never stop hoping, dreams come true... kahit one time big time.
March:
A month of closing chapters and opening new ones. Graduation. Inumans as usual. Few heart to heart talks with friends.
Treasure the friends you have, always be there for them
Learn to accept changes in your life. Let go move on and be happy
April:
Early summer getaway. Bad news. "The world spins constantly, so does the color wheel". Sad month. Month of pain, regrets and wishes. pressure cooker 1 2 3 kaboom! Hello panget kamay!
The world spins constantly, so does the color wheel – ana
“Kahit ikaw ay parang bato manhid at walang pakiramdam, mag-ingat ka dahil kahit ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan... kaya mo namang makasakit” – Bob Ong
NEVER BUKSAN ANG PRESSURE COOKER HABANG KUMUKULO
May:
Turned 21. Dead Stars. Deleted my old blog, trying to move on I guess. Deleted the entries but still saved a few. Moved to blogspot. Promised to write happier entries.
“You’re gonna have your good days and your bad days”- South of Nowhere
“So all these years-since when? - he had been seeing the light of dead stars , long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.”-Dead Stars
Know when enough is enough.
June:
I was badly missing college life. A friend died. Had a sudden change of heart. Put half of my walls down. Still confused and hesitant though. Fears. Had my first ever exam and interview. Screwed up. Got reunited with my grade school and high school friends.June was a month of gambling,a month of courage.
Don't try to push people out of your life, no one deserves to be taken for granted
Even if you have new people/friends in your life, never forget those who were part of your past, for you will never complete your life’s puzzle if you lose some of its pieces.
July:
Indie month. Mommy and Daddy had to go to Cebu. Responsibilities. Growing up. Maturity. Hated the rain for reminding me of things/people I was trying to forget. Misunderstandings. Tried to give it another shot. Second chances.
Never assume
Learn how to take responsibilities
Always be mindful of the things you do and the words you say
August:
Driving lessons. Ate was back from Dubai. Eheads reunion concert. Finally decided to get rid of the old dust to let the new ones in.
No two things can occupy the same space at the same time – law of impenetrability
Letting go might be hard yet it is the best way to let another stay
September:
Chill month. Inumans
Find some time to chill, find and reconnect with the things or people you've grown apart from
Drink.Get drunk.Laugh.have fun... then die haha
October:
A month of firsts. Major changes. Leaving comfort zones. Facing fears. Got hired. First work ever. Lots of inumans. Ate was back from Dubai again. Had my very first paycheck ever. Hello poverty. Finally decided to take my chances, cross the street, take the risks, throw myself in to the lions den.
“I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.”---Greys Anatomy
“BOUNDARIES don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. So you can waste your life drawing lines? Or you can live your life crossing them. Because here’s what I know, if you are willing to take the chance the view from the other side is Spectacular.”---Greys Anatomy
November
Reunion. Wanted to quit my job. "Nagsisimula ka palang quitter ka na" - Mommy
Patience is a virtue ahaha!
December
December 5 was my last day of being a copywriter. I sure am gonna miss them. Had a burgis Christmas party. Applied again and got hired. Got my license. Family reunions. Back to Bulacan. And just recently found out I've been lied to thank you very much.
Again Patience is a Virtue
AGAIN learn how to play the game of trust
Learn to hate pride
All in all my 2008 was full of Ups and Downs, Yeheys and boo-hoos. But at least I managed to see the lessons in those downs and boo-hoo moments and even in the ups and yeheys hahaha. This year I’ve gained lots of new friends, and unfortunately lost some. I’ve made decisions, and regretted some. But all is done. I wouldn’t want to waste my short life looking back, feeling bad and regretting things.
and so i quote.....my 18 year old self ahahahahhaha
...always remember to look on the brighter side of life, appreciate every moment, every little thing around us, enjoy each and every moment in life, even the fucked up ones... because in this journey, you can only go forward... there’s no turning back..
Yehey thank you 2008!
I'm ready to let you go.
Good bye!
I'll miss you. I'll miss the old me... young, careless, and stupid.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? a lot.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?i dont think meron akong new years' resolution for 2008. basta alam ko lang sabi ko ieenjoy ko ang buhay. haha! excited na kong gumawa ng new years' resolution for next year. and this time isusulat ko para di ko makalimutan
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? hm? meron nga ba? I think wala naman
4. Did anyone close to you die? hindi close. pero friend labo. basta yun na yun.
5. What countries did you visit? Wala. Iindonesia sana then again di natuloy
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? the courage to let go of things I've grown used to.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? January 5 and 6. February 1 and 2. March 29. October 19.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? graduating
9. What was your biggest failure? hm. my fucked up january
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? flu? ahah. ah pressure cooker kaboom!
11. What was the best thing you bought? alak galore ahaha
13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed? the january pervert and the best liar awardee
14. Where did most of your money go? clothes.food.alak
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? first day of work.few get togethers.out of towns
16. What song/s will always remind you of 2008? hm. onga noh. ewan ko pa. binigyan mo ko ng idea haha gawa ako ng soundtrack ng 2008 ko ok?
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier siguro ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner. semi-siopao face nalang ako ahaha iii. richer or poorer? Poorer no more allowance eh
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? siguro sana mas naging careful ako sa mga taong pinagtiwalaan ko.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? wala naman
20. How did you spend Christmas? bahay with my family and relatives
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? yes.
23. How many one-night stands? No comment
24. What was your favourite TV program? TV series... South of Nowhere.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Fortunately and Unfortunately yes. I hate to hate ahaha
26. What was the best book you read? ang dami kong nabasa eh.. siguro ung Unbearable Lightness of Being, sige na sama na yung Twilight ahaha and yung What these hands can do
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? This year parang wala.
28. What did you want and get? career. good health. love. pera ahaha!!
29. What did you want and not get? masayang career haha. madaming madaming pera hahaha!
30. Favorite film of this year? wala. ay wait 2008 ba yung last ng Pirates? kung oo e di yun. kung hindi wala. i didn't liked twilight eh. alice and bella were cute though haha
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? nasa kalsada kami nun ahaha pauwi from Ilocos. tapos kaen lang sa bahay. then inom at Papu's with sinumpa. 21
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? more lasingan nights with friends hahaha
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? nothing new.
34. What kept you sane? people.gran matador.red horse.gsm blue.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? mylene dizon and jodi forever ahaha.johnny depp for always ahaha.and alice cullen oh my gosh. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 2008: In The Beginning Where did you bring in the New Year? bahay
Who were you with? Family
Did you kiss anyone at midnight? Nope
Did you make any resolutions? Nope
2008: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone? No
Did you get anything for Valentine's day? Yes, nung singles date. gonuts cupcake, cadburry na may almonds, and redhorse in can with the pink ribbon ahaha thanks to Wendy my girlfriend for the day.
Did you meet anyone special? Yes.
Did you fall in love? Yes. For the record haha!
2008: Friends and Enemies Did you meet any new friends this year? Yes yes yes!
Did any of your friendships end? Yes. boo-hooo
Did you dislike anyone? Yes. hate siguro mas appropriate
Did you make any new enemies? Parang wala, bukod sa mga inaway ko dahil sumingit sa pila. atbp ahaha
Did you resolve any fights? Yes. Infairness
Who was your closest friend? Sinumpa, special mention to Piper and KO.
Who did you grow apart from? I'd rather not mention
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? yes
2008: Your BIRTHDAY Did you have a cake? Yes.
What did you do for your birthday? Celebrated with my family. then post inuman celebration with friends.
Did you have a party? No
Did you get any presents? Yes
If so what was the best thing you got? getting drunk ahahhahahhahaha
2008: All about YOU Did you change at all this year? Yes
Did you dye your hair? No
Did you get your hair cut? Yes
Did you change your style? Hm? Siguro nung nagwork ako. coz i had to
Were you in school? Yes.
Did you get good grades? Yes. didn't make it to the DL though, pero okay lang
Did you have a job? Yes
Do you drive? Yes
Did you own a car? Sana lang. Yung as in sakin talaga
Did anyone close to you gave birth? No
Did you move at all? No Blueng gate padin ahaha
Did you go on any vacations? Yes yes yes!
Did you leave the country at all? NO rar!
Would you change anything about yourself now? Siguro. change for the betterer ahahah
2008: Wrap Up. Is 2008 a good year? Sorta good haha, had some fucked up moments though. pero almost half siguro of my 2008 was good.
Did 2008 bring any new insights? Yes a lot of new insights.
Do you think 2009 will top 2008? I do hope so
If you could relive any moment which would you choose? Fun, drunk moments with friends.
This was my "Goodbye 2007! Welcome 2008" post. In the next few days I'll be posting my Buhbye 08 hello 09 post.. expect a longer one, a lot of changes happened since day 1 of 2008. Changes, goodbye's, hello's, yipeee's, boohooos, happy times, fucked up times...
Minsan humihiling tayo sa langit ng mga bagay na akala nating makakapagpasaya sa'tin. Gabi-gabi dinadasal mo na sana ibigay sayo yung pinakaaasam mong bagay.
Sabi nila kung para sa'yo talaga ang isang bagay, ibibigay sa'yo yun anu't ano man ang mangyari.
Pero pano kung isang araw ibigay sa'yo yung bagay na pinakaaasam mo. Yung bagay na gabi-gabi mong sinasama sa mga dasal mo, yung bagay na akala mo ngang makakapagpasaya sa'yo...
Tapos sa kalgitnaan ng akala mong kasiyahan, maiisip mo... gusto mo nga ba talaga yan? Bakit hindi ka naman masaya? Bakit ka nahihirapan? Bakit ka naiiyak? Bakit parang biglang ayaw mo na?
Ilang araw ko na din talagang pinag iisipan kung masaya pa nga ba ko. Unang araw palang yata naramdaman ko nang nahihirapan ako, at hindi ako masyadong nasisiyahan. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, tingnan ko muna baka hirap lang akong mag-adjust. Ilang weeks na nakalipas.. at habang tumatagal mas lalo kong narerealize at nararamdaman na hindi na nga ako masaya.
Kanina nag text ako kay Daddy. "Hindi na ko masaya sa ginagawa ko, baka hindi ko nalang ituloy 'to" sabi ko. Sabi naman niya "Cge".
Pero iniisip ko, ano nang gagawin ko sa buhay ko pagkatapos? Mag-aral? Maghanap ng ibang trabaho? O ituloy ko na yung business ni Daddy?..
Sa mga oras na 'to hinihiling kong huminto ang lahat maliban sa'kin, para naman magkaron ako ng oras na mag-isip.
Ito ang pinakaayaw ko sa lahat.
Yung pipigilan mong matulog sa gabi sa pag-aakala mong mapipigilan nito yung bukas.
O kaya naman pipilitin mong matulog at hihilingin mong wag ka na sanang magising sa mga susunod pang bukas.
Over na ko sa ganyang stage ng buhay ko eh.
Nahanap ko na yung kasiyahang hinahanap ko nuon, nawala na naman ngayon.
Pagod ako..
Pagod na talaga..
oras. panahon
Hintayin mo naman ako kahit saglit lang. Huminto ka muna habang inaalam ko kung anu ngang dapat kong gawin sa buhay.
ako.
Bilisan mong mag-isip hindi dahil ka hihintayin ng panahon. Pumili ka at matuto kang panindigan yung mga desisyong ginagawa mo sa buhay.
IKAW.
Bakit Mo 'to binigay sa'kin kung hindi ko naman pala ikasisiya. Ay hiniling ko nga pala. Para sa'kin ba talaga to? O binigay Mo lang 'to dahil hiniling ko? Tulungan Mo kong makita ang lesson sa likod ng lahat ng nangyayari na 'to. Tulungan Mo rin akong maialis yung sarili ko dito at mahanap at makuha kung anu man yung ikasisiya ko talaga, yung hindi ko pagsisisihan sa huli.. kung hindi naman, wag Mo na kong gisingin bukas.
You won't fully enjoy a swing unless you raise your feet from the ground. You won't fully enjoy a boat ride unless you remove the rope's knot from the river bank.
Never limit yourself when it comes to happiness, learn how to let go and take risks... Life is much beautiful outside the comfort zone.
Yes darlings I just threw myself in to the lion's den, I've finally left my comfort zone and I'm currently facing two of my greatest fears.
FIRST: October. I accepted a job and I am now on my 3rd week. I write copies for event banners, annual reports etc. I do love writing, I really really really do love writing but the thing is, my writing style is more on the creative thingamajigs and our clients are janjarararannnn (mostly) government whatevs and MAN!!! I AM REALLY HAVING A HARD TIME!
Maybe I have to put extra effort in reading more matured(ay tunog porno)/corporate stuffs to update my vocabs. AND another thing... I have to learn to cross the fucking streets alone and stop asking the guards to help me get to the other side of the street. PLUS I GOTTA LOVE the buses going to Cubao (especially during taghirap days for tipid effect), and of course I GOTTA LOVE the looooong walk from the dark and stinky street outside Farmer's to Gateway. OR para less hassle I can take the shuttle from St. Francis to Masinag, which is by the way worth 45php (ginto ata ang upuan pero ok lang dahil more comfy kumpara sa bus)
Henewei, when my very first paycheck was given to me parang may mga anghel na tumugtog ng harp at trumpets sa paligid.. but then again narealize ko "Shit! No more baon! No more Daddy pengeng pera pang enjoy" aaaaaaah INDIE KID ANA!!!! aaaaah POVERTYYYYYY!
Oh well, ganyan talaga buhay ... I finally moved on from the fact that I am no longer in college (Goodbye Katipunan.. You will always be my 2nd home), that I have to work my butt off for my vices and luho sa buhay.
Sana maka-survive at maging productive naman ako.
Dear Real World,
Hello! Please don't be too harsh on me...or I might get myself OD-ed joke!(na half-meant)
Ana
SECOND: October. Ugh.. how do I say this? Uhm.. I am starting to take risks again(?) Hindi ata appropriate yung again because this is a "first" for me, not actually THE first first.. but technically this is THE first.. labo?
This is my THE first and I am scared as hell, I still have a lot to learn, and a lot of adjustments to make... so please patience my dear. MORE patience
There.. October 08 is a risk-taking-decision-making-leaving-comfort-zone month.. I hope not to regret any of these two decisions in the coming days..weeks..months
Yay! My unemployment days are over. Hahaha and this time totoo na. Goodbye cartoon-watching-mornings. Goodbye ano nanaman kayang gagawin ko bukas-nights. I'm excited and a bit scared actually. Yayks! I hope things'll turn out fine. Goodluck to me! Sana wala akong maging regrets after ilang weeks, or months and sila din.
Please please please good vibes come to me! and another please please please inspire me!! Kailangan kong mainspire sa buhay para I won't run out of ideas and energy na din ahahahaha!
I have to read read read read... and write write write!
Di rin ako tagasalo ng mga bagay na tinapon ng kung sinu-sino.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit madalas akong nalalapit sa mga gantong klaseng tao. At nakakainis ako dahil madalas akong nagpapabibiktima. Pero ngayon I'm sorry hindi na talaga ko magpapaloko. I've learned my lesson. Ayoko na. Madami naman akong kaibigan, as in yung kaibigan na nandyan masaya man ang buhay o hindi. Ganon din ako sa kanila. Hindi kagaya ng ibang dadating at magpaparamdam lang kapag may kailangan. Nananahimik ako eh.
Wala namang epekto sa'kin kung wala ka. Sa totoo lang mas naiinis ako pag andyan ka. In short hindi ka importante. At isa pa, I'm sorry kung medyo maldita ako, pero wala ka talaga kasing karapatang maging demanding. At isa pa ulit dati pa alam mo naman na ayoko ng taong makukulit kaya wag kang makulit ples!
aay kinakabahan! wish me luck! hm.. ang buong detalye.. pag uwi ko sa friday haha kung may lakas pa..o kung may matira pang self-esteem :)
anyway this coming friday i'll be helping my mom and her fratmates sa isang service nila somewhere with the red cross. not naman helping as in help talaga i'll be there for support ahaha and to take pictures na din..and to have na rin check-up para malaman if i can donate blood or not..sana pwede, kasi that's one thing i wanna do before i die ahaha ma-experience manlang to donate kahit one bag lang ng blood..yun e kung blood nga ang mapiga nila sakin at hindi alcohol ahah..pero haven't been drinking A LOT lately... a lot ah hindi ko sinasabing hindi talaga ko umiinom..not like when i was in college almost every day or every other day akong nasa BAHAY INUMAN haha! hay i miss those times, haha wala na kong choice ngayon kundi mamiss nalang ang college days kasi di naman na mababalik yun. Ok lang that's life :)
so there, i'm planning to donate blood this coming friday, pero that's not what i'm worried about. before going to the red cross thingamajigs my mom and i will go somewhere pa...ayayayay ayan na ambilis na ng puso ko baka di ko mahabol...
WARNING: ISA ITONG NAPAKAHABANG POST... DI KO ALAM KUNG MAY KWENTA TO SA'YO PERO SAKIN MERON...KUNG LABU-LABO MAN ANG PAGKAKASULAT PASENYSA NA.. walang edit edit kasi..kung anung maisip ko type lang..
Hindi ko masasabing solid na tagahanga nila ako, sa totoo lang never pa akong nakapunta sa gig/concert nila nuon. Two years old palang ata ako nung nabuo ang banda nila, kaya hindi ko din masasabing panahon ko nga sila. Pero ang sigurado ako, bata palang ako naririnig ko na sila at nakikita sa TV.Bata palang ako kinakanta ko na ang mga kanta nila. Bata pa lang ako sila na ang background music ko tuwing nalulungkot ako, tuwing masaya ako, tuwing kahit anong mangyari. Pasalamat ako sa Ate ko na kasabay kong nag aabang sa kanila sa TV, sa Ate ko na tuwing naglilinis ng bahay e pinapatugtog yung cassette tape nila. Naalala ko pa t’wing uuwi kami sa probinsya para magbakasyon palaging nakasalang ang mga cassette tapes nila sa stereo ng sasakyan namin. Hindi ko napapansin ang zigzag at nakakahilong daan papuntang Bicol dahil sinasabayan ko yung mga kanta nila. Halinhinan ang mga kanta nila at ng Yano sa pagtanggal ng pagkabagot ko sa mahabang biyahe papuntang Bicol.
Nuon pwede pa kong maligo sa ulan kahit nakashorts lang at walang pang itaas, magtatakbuhan kami ng kuya ko at ng mga kalaro namin sa bakuran naming malawak pa noon, tapos lalangoy sa fishpond ng lolo ko, bubugawin lahat ng manok na panabong ni Daddy na nakakalat din sa noong malawak pa naming bakuran. Kapag umaambon pa lang at nagsimula na kaming maligo, papagalitan kami nila Lolo’t Lola kasi nga naman magkakasakit kami. Isang beses, hindi ako pinayagang maligo sa ulan dahil mahina pa daw yung ulan, eksaktong pinatutugtog sa radio nun yung “Tuwing Umuulan at Kapiling ka”. Tandang tanda ko sinabayan ko yung kanta....”Buhos na ulan aking mundo’y lunuring tuluyan..” sabi naming dalawa, hindi ko alam kung pangit lang talaga ang boses ko o nung panahon na ‘yon nakinig sakin yung ulap.. biglang lumakas ang ulan kaya nakaligo kami ng kuya ko sa ulan. Simula non sa t’wing nahihiyang bumuhos ang ulan, kinakanta ko yun. Masaya ko no’n t’wing umuulan dahil nakakpaglaro kami nila kuya, hindi pa ko marunong gumawa ng bangkang papel non kaya nagpapagawa ako sa kanya, minsan kay Lolo tapos ipapaagos naming sa tubig. Malinis pa no’n yung tubig na umaagos sa kalsada wala pang kasamang mga basura.
Isang beses nung umuwi si Ate galing sa dorm niya, kinuwento niyang nagpunta sila nung fair nila at tumugtog. “Nagkagulo lahat, syempre puro babae e diba? May mga tumutuntong sa upuan tapos nagbubukas sarang payong.. tapos may naghahagis ng mga durog na Chippy!” yan ang kwento niya sakin non. Dahil bata pa ako at ni hindi pa pinapayagang pumunta sa Birthday ng kaklase ng walang kasamang matanda..hindi din ako malamang nakakapanood ng mga ganun, ni hindi nga ako pinapayagang bumili sa tindahan ng mag-isa. Kuntento na kong nakikita sila sa TV, sa songhits, sa Chippy at Burger Machine Commercials, kuntento na kong naririnig sila sa radio. Kuntento na ko sa mga kwento ng Ate ko.
Sabi ko pa nuon pag malaki na ko panonoorin ko sila.
Ngayon laos na ang cassette tape, may gumagamit pa nga ba nun sa panahon ngayon? Sa panahon na kahit ang discman ata ay wala na rin sa uso? Nadagdagan na ng 19 pang taon ang edad ko simula nung magbuo sila ng banda. Ilang taon na din kaming hindi bumibisita sa Bicol. Hindi na rin kami dumadaan sa zigzag na daan tuwing uuwi do’n. Ilang beses na din napalitan yung putting Toyota Corolla ni Mama na gamit naming tuwing uuwi ng Bicol. At yung driver namin nuon, halos hindi na nakakakita ngayon. Kagaya noon madalas pa rin silang nasa TV, at radio, ewan ko lang sa songhits dahil simula nung nauso ang internet hindi na ko bumili ng songhits para tingnan ang chords ng mga gusto kong kanta. Pero hindi tulad ng dati, ngayon makikita mo sila pero hindi na magkakasama. Maliban syempre kay Buddy at Raimund na parehong nasa Cambio.
Ngayon kapag naligo ako sa ulan ng nakashorts lang at walang pang itaas siguradong mahihibang ang mga makakakita sakin at iisiping baliw ako at babarilin ako ng tatay ko. Oo flat parin ang lahat sa akin..pero ika nga nila dalaga na ako.
Lumiit na din yung dati naming malawak na bakuran. Nailipat na din yung mga manok na panabong namin sa farm, nadagdagan ng dalawang Kabayo at ilang mga kambing ang alaga naming, hanggang sa namatay, nanakaw, binenta at pinamigay na silang lahat.
Ngayon kahit maligo ako sa ambon (nang kumpleto ang damit syempre), sa medyo malakas na ambon, o sa ulan na may kasamang kidlat wala nang magsesermon sakin. Grade 3 ako nung namatay si Lola, Christmas break naman nung 2nd or 3rd year college ako nung namatay si Lolo.
Marunong na rin akong gumawa ng bangkang papel ngayon, pati eroplano alam ko nang gawin, pati pag balot ng marijuana alam ko na kung pano (joke lang yan ang maniwala utu-uto). Ngayon kung papaanurin mo ang bangkang papel mo sa baha.. hindi na uusad dahil madaming basurang tangay tangay yung baha. Hibang ka din siguro kung maglaro ka pa sa baha sa panahon ngayon, dahil hindi mo alam kung anung kasama ng bahang umaagos sa kanal, kalsada o kung san pa man yung umaagos. Limot ko na din ang mukha nung mga kalaro namin ni Kuya nuon. Pero naririnig ko minsan na kinukwento ng Nanay ko na may anak na at pamilyado na ang halos lahat sa kanila.
Over na din si Ate sa pagiging groupie stage niya. Matagal na siyang hindi nag-aalak, nag yoyosi, at kung anu pang maisip niyong bisyo. Kung dati hindi ako pinapayagang pumunta sa kung saan ng walang kasama, ngayon ako na ang sumasama sa bunso kong kapatid sa kung san man siya pupunta. Ilang beses na kong umalis at hindi umuwi. Ilang gigs na rin ang napanuod ko. Sa mga gigs na yun, nakita at narinig ko silang apat... kumakanta, tumutugtog sa magkakahiwalay na banda. Ngayon hindi na din ata uso ang lumilipad na durog na chippy, nung huling nanood ako ng gig... mga bote ng mineral water ang lumilipad.
Nagpalit palit na din ng endorser ang Chippy. Naging Parokya ni Edgar, at yung “Kami po ang tear here!” At ang NAPAKASIKAT na Halika Tikman ang Langit Burger Machine nuon, ay Burger Machine naLANG ngayon...
Ngayon, malaki na nga ako...literal man o hindi ang usapan.
Nag reunion concert sila, sa kasamaang palad hindi ako nakapanood dahil nung araw at oras ding yun hinatid naming si Ate O. sa airport dahil pabalik na siya ng Dubai. Nung padaan na kami sa The Fort, nakatanggap ako ng mensaheng pinutol ang concert dahil nga kinailangang dalhin si Ely sa ospital. Sayang. Malaki na nga ako, pero di ko parin sila napanuod...pero sige ok lang ay hindi pala ok..pero wala naman akong magagawa e
Habang hinihintay kong lumaki ako at payagan nang pumunta at manood ng mga banda ang daming nagbago sakin, sa iba sa halos lahat ng bagay sa paligid. Nagbago ako ng mga pangarap, paniniwala at tingin sa mga bagay bagay.
Natuto na ko at nalimutan ko na din kung pano mag gitara. Hindi kagaya dati na umiiyak ako at ayaw kong pumasok sa school dahil boring ang pag aaralan (parts ng fish), ngayon tapos na din akong magsunog ng kilay. At madaming madami pang nangyare at nagbago.
Ngayon kapag nagbbyahe kami ng malayo o kahit malapit pa hindi na Casette tape ang baon naming kundi CD (Eraserheads Anthology 1 and 2). Nung naggraduate ako nung college paulit ulit kong kinakanta yung “Sa Wakas”. Madami akong naaalala tuwing naririnig ko mga kanta nila, minsan malungkot, minsan masaya, minsan chill... Siguro nga kung gagawa ako ng soundtrack ng buhay ko marami raming kanta nila ang mapapasama.
Tuwing maririnig kong sasabihin ng mga tao na “Sayang sila..” “Kung hindi sana sila nadisband...” Anu nga bang nakakapanghinayang? Hindi naman sila nawala talaga, hindi naman nalalaos at naluluma yung mga kanta nila. Ilang beses mang pakinggan hindi nagagasgas. Paulit ulit mang kantahin hindi napagsasawaan. Magbago man ang lahat ng bagay, taas baba man ang presyo ng gasoline..pag dating sa kanila wala namang nag/magbabago...
Nagmahal man dating halagang 600 pisong chucks na ngayon higit 2,000 piso na. Madami mang nagsulputang bagong genres. Madami mang nauso, at nalaos. Madaming banda man ang umangat na sa mainstream at lumubog. Maaaring may kanya kanya na nga silang tinutugtugang banda ngayon, marahil hindi na talaga sila magsasama sama bilang isa... bilang banda na kinabaliwan at kinababaliwan parin ng marami hanggang ngayon, hindi mapagkakaila na nag iwan sila ng malaki malalim at permanenteng marka sa Pinoy Music Industry.
Sa paniniwala ko hanggang hindi namamatay ang Industriya ng Musikang Pilipino...
Sila ay mananatiling sila...
nandyan, nandito lang
P.S
Hangga’t hindi namamatay ang Industriya ng Musikang Pilipino...
(Wag naman natin hayaang mangyari to, let’s support local bands...wag magpaakit sa murang OPM pirated CDs please)
1. if your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - im bored.. or tired.. or pikon.. or galit.. 2. if someone hit you, what would you do? - ouch gago ka ah sabay hit back 3. what do you do for a living? - wala my gosh ang boring diba? humihinga lang ako kumakain kumukurap natutulog haha yan lang role ko sa mundo as of now 4. would you still study after college? - finish na ko magcollege.. i dunno maybe, pag tinopak ako.. or nabore ng tuluyan sa buhay ko 5. last time you laughed so hard? - a while ago dahil sa ilaw.. 6. has anyone told you they missed you lately? - yes ponx..weeee happy birthday! 7. are you wearing any clothes that don't belong to you? - ngayon? sakin to lahat ahaha 8. last book/magazine/etc you read? - yung natapos ko as in? interview with the vampire.. pero binabasa ko ngayon maktub, unbearable lightness of being, and sleepy hollow.. oo silang tatlo salit salitan pag nabobore ako sa isa yung isa naman 9. have you bumped to a glass door? - parang hindi pa naman ata? 10. do you regret anything from your past? - unfortunately yes, pero dapat hindi! ahah pinilit... no regrets just lessons learned! :) 11. if you could seek revenge on someone would you? - oo naman.. rar gantingera ko eh ahahaha! chos 12. how do you react when people cry around you? - naku nakuu tahan na ice cream gusto mo? 13. last argument? - kanina ahaha araw araw naman eh 14. do you have a crush? - yes crushes pa dahil ako ay marupok haha joke 15. do you know how to belly dance? - hahaha hindi ko ittry ever! ang sagwa talaga 16. what are you listening to? - tunog ng ps2..ingay ni kuya at ateng naglalaro 17. last beverage? - water 18. last nap? - kanina with abie and ate o. na napakaharot.. 19. do you own a planner? - yes!! excited ako bumili tuwing mag eend yung year! ahaha planner ko ngaun yung sa jollibee ahaha at mukha nang scrapbook..pero di na masyado nasusulatan dahil sa boring kong buhay 20. favorite month/s? - ber months siguro kasi malamig...pwede din march - april summer summer summer!!! 21. would your parents be mad if you get pregnant? - hahaha oo naman noh malamang!! 22.would they be mad if you were to be sent some place far from their reach? - hmm depends 23. what were you doing last saturday? - can't remember im sorry hehe 24. sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? - wala kong maisip eh 25. the most weird thing in your house? - madami eh lahat dito weirdo pati mga tao 26. are you racist? - nope 27.How long have you been breathing since birth? - *hinga hinga* 28.Are you single? - yes.. since kopong kopong 29.What are you doing right now? - nagsasagot nito stupid kaw! aside from this nakikinid kila kuya 30.Have you cried today at all? - nope 31.What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank? - GSM blue 32.Do you want to be in a relationship? - depende kung ready na why not poknats 33.Do you actually believe in perfection? - hindi noh 34.Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? - sunny pero hindi super init..tamang weather lang for iwas baskil..iwas ubo..iwas sipon..iwas baha effect 35.Have you been to New York City? - hindi pa.. 36.What do you think about before you go to bed? - anong oras kaya ako gigising? 37.Last voice mail you received? - di uso sakin yun ahaha 38.Who were the last people to lay in bed with you? - Abie and Ate O. kaninang siesta 39.Where did you sleep last night? - my room, my bed 40.How many close friends do you have? - ang dami ehhh 41.What is your fave song right now - right now? wishing wells ng eheads ay tama ba may s ba yun? 43.Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? - yes 44.Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? - yes and no 45.Do you wear glasses or contacts? - used to.. ayoko na kasi mag glasses eh neemphasize yung big nose ahahaha 46.When is your next road trip? - road trip bang macoconsider yung ginagawa namin ni Kuya Ariel? haha! kung ganun bukas.. or pag magppractice na kami ni Superman :) 47.Would rain actually stop you from going? - depende kung ano ba ung pupuntahan..kung commute at di naman masyadong importante most probably oo hahah! ehem mga ilang interviews ang hindi ko sinipot dahil sa ulan.. kahit hindi commute ahaha sarap matulog eh.. okay haba na ng sinabi ko 48.Do you get nervous with public speaking? - depende sa audience pero usually oo ahahha
ISA PA PAGBIGYAN NA
1.who was the last person you threw out of your life? - isang taong di naman masyadong deserving ng pagod oras at salapi..haha sang kanta ko ba narinig yan 2.are you wearing any socks? - nope.. 3.do you regret something you did yesterday? - yesterday? hindi naman.. sana lang.. tinapakan ko yung clutch ahaahah chos 4.whats the last thing you ate? - sisig oh my sarap 5.last movie you watched in theaters? - sarah johnlloyd the second time around ahahha 6.what kind of bottoms are you wearing? - bikini bottoms ahahah spongebob? 7.how many windows are open on your computer? - one two three 8.what do you hear right now? - bugshung bugshung ahaha sfx nung nilalaro nila kuya "no enemy shall ever surpass me" ayan saktong nadinig ko ahahhah 9.how many hours did you sleep last night? - uhm 8? 7? buti nga di na 12 eh 10.whats bothering you right now? - my boring life 11.are you sarcastic? - yes 12.are you shy? - depende 14.are you talkative? - yes, i think 15.last person you saw? - kuya 16.who's the last person you talked on the phone with? - ate monette 17.in the past week have you gotten sick? - hindi naman ata 18.in the past week have you felt stupid? - yes ahahaha kanina nina lang ahaha pero masayang maging stupid minsan depende sa level ng stupidity 20.in the past week have you watched cartoons? - counted ba yung mga pinapakita sa PS? kung oo oo ahaha kung hindi naku hindi balita nalang ang napapanood ngaun dito 21.what were you doing at 9 AM this morning? - papuntang driving school 22.in the past week have you felt sad? - no 23.has someone disappointed you recently? - counted ba sarili ko? pero ok lang sarili ko ahahaha tanggap kita ahahhaha!!! baliw 24.do you have plans for this weekend? - hatid si ate sa airport 25.do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions? - depends 26.do you think relationships are ever really worth it? - depende sa tao sitwasyon 27.last thing you said aloud? - AAAAAAY SORRY!!!!! 28.what do you want to name your kids? - something kakaiba na hindi magagalit yun kids pag laki nila hahaha 29.if you could pack up and move, would you? - oo kung kaya ko nang buhayin sarili ko why not poknats 30.what is one thing you have learned lately? - gear 1234 R..haha! pindutin ang R1 kasabay ng triangle at ng up para paliparin ang mga kalaban ni dante sa devil may cry3 ahahaha 31.what person in your family are you the most like? - ewan 32.have you ever had your heart broken? - yes 33.does it really feel as bad as people say? - yes..pero masarap ung inuman 34.do you hate when people smoke around you? - nope..pag sakin binubuga oo 35.who did you sit with at lunch today? - wala mag isa ko nag lunch 36.does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you? - naku di ko maalala kung sino 37.do you like the Jonas Brothers? - no 38.honestly, how many people have you COMPLETELY fallen for? - 3? not sure 39.who have you texted in the last 24 hours? - naku madami..pinakalast si egay 40.name something that made you smile today? - sabaw moments ko 41.can you name a quote from the song you are listening to? - wala kong pinakikinggang song right now.. gusto mo ung sa nilalaro ni kuya at ate? "no enemy shall ever surpass me" at "destroy them all" ahaahha u like that? 42.whats the closest thing to you thats liquid? - fit'n right four seasons with l carnitine that helps burn fat aaahhaha 43.strawberry pancakes or banana pancakes? - pancakes nalang.. no kahit ano.. 44.burger king or wendy's? - BK 45.what time is it? - 9:46 pm 46.where is your best friend right ow? - bahay? dorm? school? 47.would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris? - both 48.are you listening to music right now? - no nga 49.who else is in the room with you? - kuya and ate 50.in winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies? - walang winter dito ahahha pero kahit ano.. 51.how long can you go without your mobile phone? - depende
Kahapon first day ko sa driving school matagal nang pinlanong mag enroll pero kelan lang nakakuha ng student's permit..sobrang katamaran at dahil sa paglipat lipat na din ng LTO, pasaway.Pero ayos na din dahil mas ma-okay yung pwesto nila ngayon. Anyway bakit naimbento ang manual na sasakyan? ang sakit ng katawan ko 2 hours lang yun ah.. at kotse pa yun gamit.. sino bang nagsabi kasing mag-aral akong magdrive?? Ang sarap kayang magmuni muni habang nasa passenger's seat noh! Pero okay na din feeling ko plus 20% maturity sakin! Ayun isa pang narealize ko peste ang karamihan ng mga truck at jeepney drivers... napa- "aaaay" nalang ako nung ni-sandwich nila ako. Anyway, once lang naman ako namatayan ng makina ahaha nagpanic kasi ako:
Kuya Ariel: Shift to gear 3
Kotse: *deads*
Kuya Ariel: O nakalimutan mo na? Wag ka mataranta..
Ako: E kasi kuya andaming nagpopotpot eh
Hahaha nanisi pa ko talaga noh? pero kanina okay naman na, ma-okay na din ako mag U-turn.. sabi nung isang instructor pwede na daw akong driver.. naisip ko lang GOODLUCK talaga noh sakit sakit kaya sa katawan... mas gusto ko nalang talagang magmunimuni sa passenger's seat kasi dun pwede nakataas paa.. habang kumakain ahahah or sa likod nalang nakahiga pa ko ahahaha! tamad amp.
Anyway kesa naman nga mabulok ako sa bahay.. mag iisip na lang ako ng mga gagawin ko pa hahah! check na un driving chumenelyn..goal ko talaga yun na before matapos ang August e nakapa driving school na ko..yes sa wakas may na achieve din na goal ahaha ay wala pa pala dahil di ko alam kung matututo ako hahah
Pag-alis ni Ate O. balik nanaman ako sa boring kong buhay haha! tsktsk inaamag na ang journal ko..walang mailagay.. kinakalawang na ang buhay ko.. baka mabore na ko ng todong todo masama ito..
KASABAWAN:
Kanina pag gising ko.. sobrang kasabawan ni-on ang PS2.. ni-on ang TV gamit ang remote..sabay lapag sa tabi ko.. tapos may tumalsik na tubig.. tingala sa kisame.. huh? wala namang tulo.. andaming talsik ng tubig.. paglingon sa tabi ko.. AAAAAAAAAY!!! Nagdive ang remote ng TV sa basong puno ng tubig.. malamig lamig pa yung tubig.. na by the way e kinuha ko bago ako umupo at mag-on ng TV!
Isa pa...
Abie: Ate papatay ng ilaw sa kwarto..
pagpindot ng switch namatay ang ilaw sa sala... AAAAAAAAY!! SORRY!! ni-switch ko ulit ilaw sa kwarto ni abie.. hindi nabukas yung sa sala..
EHEM ang sabaw ko lang!!! Si kuya yung nagswitch nung ilaw sa Sala!!! at EHEM ang switch lang sa kwarto nila Abie ay para lang sa ilaw sa kwarto nila Abie.. Tawang tawa kaming lahat napakasabaw ko lang talaga ngayong araw na to...
PAGBISITA:
May Flu si Abie, exam niya on Wednesday yung mga books niya for Wednesday nasa classroom nila.. So pinuntahan namin ni Mama kanina bago kami magtagpo ni Kuya Ariel. Para sa inyong kaalaman dun din ako nag highschool at nag grade school. Pagpunta namin sa Library, narealize ko wala masyadong nabago.. parang wala din bagong libro simula nung nag graduate ako. Hindi ko masabing at home ako, dahil hindi na talaga.. sa sobrang tagal sigurong hindi ako nadalaw.. o baka dati pa hindi na talaga ako at home dun.. ang weird lang ayokong grumaduate dati ng highschool kasi ayoko sa ibang world haha ngayon narealize ko mas umokay ako as a person sa mga taong nakilala at nakasalamuha ko sa college.. dun mas at home ako dun mas napakita ko yung totoong ako..
Tapos nung palabas na kami dun kami sa gate ng gradeschool dumaan dahil dun din kami nakapark.. sinilip ko kung nandun pa yung Mango tree na inukitan namin ng initials ng bestfriend ko nung grade school... pag tingin ko wow ang laki na ng puno!!!!!
pag tingala ko.. AY MALI PUNO PALA NG DUHAT YUN ahhahahahhahahahahha tangena dapat sa kasabawan part pala to noh!?
so ayun wala na si mango tree..
yun lang..
wala namang kwenta tong post na to ahahah! sorry sinayang ko ang oras mo..
namimiss ko nang magsulat ng mga bagay na may saysay..
I'm bored... just got home from the derma.. awts parang pinasabog yung mukha ko ahahah very maga hello pores!!!
Anyway.. sige na gumaya na din kayo ahaha gaya gaya kasi ako kaya gumaya ako labo
♫ A: hot (hahaha tssss hot crispy pata comin' up) ♫ N: loves to laugh and smile (and giggle and laugh at my stupidities) ♫ N: loves to laugh and smile (ulet ulet naman) ♫ A: hot (anu ba ulitin pa tama na ahahaha feelingera amp)
♫ M: Makes dating fun (don't think so) ♫ A: hot (sige one more time) ♫ E: has gorgeous eyes (has BIG eyes ahaha)
♫ H: stick to one (hmm..)
♫ A: hot (ayyy anu baa... hahaha ang arte) ♫ L: is really sweet (er.. not) ♫ T: smile to die for (die!!!) ♫ E: has gorgeous eyes (BIG nga e BIG parang tarsier) ♫ Z: can be funny and dumb at times (eto lang ata ang sumakto ahahahhaha!!!! hindi lang at times.. all the time!!)
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♫ A: hot ♫ B: loves people ♫ C: good kisser ♫ D: can kick ur butt ♫ E: has gorgeous eyes ♫ F: loves people wild and crazy adore ♫ you ♫ G: very outgoing ♫ H: stick to one ♫ I: very good kisser ♫ J: is very sexual ♫ K: crazy ♫ L: is really sweet ♫ M: Makes dating fun ♫ N: loves to laugh and smile ♫ O: has one of the best personalities ♫ ever ♫ P: popular with all types of people ♫ Q: a hypocrite ♫ R: funny ♫ S: makes people laugh ♫ T: smile to die for ♫ U: is loved by everyone ♫ V: not judgmental ♫ W: very broad minded ♫ X: never let people tell you what to do ♫ Y: is loved by everyone ♫ Z: can be funny and dumb at times
Dear Papa Lord, Thank you thank you... i wish wish kahit isa sana dun ok.. kung alin mas tingin mong okay for me.. ha? ha?.. and if ever... IF EVER sana magstart after umalis na ni Ate O. hihi after na namin magpakasaya.. ha? ha? please please please... kahit one lang dun sa dalawa.. whichever you think is better for me.. kung wala..uhm sige na nga okay lang..pero i-meron mo na please?
Ana
- naaaddict ako sa icons.. andami dami dami dami kong icons na ni-save sa photobucket ko kaya expect nio na may icon sa bawat dulo ng post ko kahit walang konek wiiii ahahaha
