Sa kakaiwas kakaiwas ko sa mga bagay na ayaw ko nang balikan... jarannn sila tuloy ang bumisita sa'kin hahah! Ang nakakatawa pa niyan e halos sabay sabay silang lahat nag hehello sakin ngayon.

Akalain mo nga naman noh? Siguro dahil sobrang bilis ng takbo ng buhay ko nung past few years...fast forward ako ng fast forward kaya ayun sumuko ang player at mag isa na syang nagrewind... kaya surprise!!! back to kopong kopong days at not so kopong kopong days ako ahaha! sana nagegets niyo ang mga sinasabi ko noh? hahah! kasi ako mejo hindi na ang gulo gulo kasi talaga hahah!

Sinasadya nga siguro ni Papa Lord na maging bum ako (hahah whatever Ana) para magkaron ako ng madaming time para harapin yung mga pinaiwas iwasan kong mga bagay... At ngayon dahil bum ako I have all the time in the world para manuod ng mga replays ng buhay ko... hay nakakaloka lang talaga.. at nakakatawa akalain mo para lang silang kabuteng nagsusulputan ngayon?

Pero dati nasusuka ko pag naaalala ko sila... parang nightmare ganun... haha pero ngayon natatawa nalang ako ahahaha! shet anu ba to ang labo ahaha

susubukan kong ayusin ang entry na 'to promise yan haha

Pasensya na, isa nanaman 'to sa madaming chopsuey entry ko. Pero may main sahog 'to maniwala ka.. at try kong magfocus lang sa main sahog ng chopsuey entry na to hahaha!


Anyway... ayun na nga, ang buhay ay puno ng surpresa very gasgas, I know. Minsan akala mo natakasan mo na silang lahat, tapos isang araw kakatok nalang ulit sila sa buhay mo nakangiti habang sinsasabing "Hello andito ulit ako, sinong nagsabi sayo na matatakasan mo ako?". Sabi nga ng Jollibee commercial... "Babalik, bumabalik, bumalik!"... tapos ding! ding! ding! Time warp...

Balik sa luksong baka days. Hello sa mga panahong patok na patok ang Ghost Fighter. Mga panahong ang candy na benson ay mabibili mo sa paligid ligid na tindahan. At ang usong usong mga tugtog sa jolog jeepneys ay hindi remix ng Low, o Beautiful girls, hindi din si Gloc 9 kundi dandararan ready ka na ba?? Banyo Queen. In short balik sa later years ng 90's.

Pero di yung mga usong bagay nung late 90's ang point ko eh.

Alam mo yung feeling na may pelikula kang napanood nung bata ka... tapos sa paglipas ng panahon malilimutan mo na may nag exist palang pelikulang ganun..tapos isang araw may makikita kang dvd or vcd nung pelikula na yun.. oo as in yun na yun hindi yung remake..yun original mismo...as in same movie na napanood mo jurassic years ago..(mag - oo ka na lang kunwari nagets mo ). Tapos habang pinapanood mo yung pelikulang yun, biglang magrereplay sa'yo lahat ng nangyari nung araw na pinanood mo yun, pati yung naramdaman mo nung moment na pinanood mo yun bigla mong mararamdaman ulit. Kakaiba yung feeling... awkward na mejo comfy. Nostalgic.

Awkward kasi may mga tao at memories na ayaw mo na sanang maalala pero di mo naman makalimutan,yun bang mga "sana di ko ginawa to" "sana di ko nakilala si ganto" "sana di nangyari to"... at ang nakakaasar pa nian lalong di mo makakalimutan kasi nandyan inihain nanaman sa harap mo lahat...

Comfy kasi may magagandang memories na hinding hindi mo gustong burahin sa isip mo, mga taong never mong gugustuhing kalimutan. Mga taong kasama mong maglaro ng luksong tinik habang naghihintay ng service. Mga kasama mo simula nung kabataan days mo hanggang sa teenage years hanggang sa early adulthood..

So ano nga bang point ko talaga? Ang gulo ko noh? haha walangya naman oh.. ang hirap eh.. di ko malapatan ng salita yung naffeel ko at ung nasa isip ko...

Basta parang ganto.. Kahit anong gawin mo hindi mo mapipili yung mga memories na magsstay sa isip mo.. hinding hindi mo masasabing "Ay ayokong maalala to, tapon na to.." 'Di mo nalang basta basta pwedeng talikuran lahat kahit anong mangyari.. Kaya yung mga memories na hindi mo gustong maalala dahil uhm masakit... nakakalungkot.. nakakahiya... nakakapanlumo... nakakagalit e forever na magsstay sayo unless mauntog ka ng bonggang bongga at pati pangalan mo e malimutan mo na.

You can never throw away your past... kaya DEAL WITH IT!

Gaano kalalim mo man ibaon ang kahapon, machachambahan at machachambahan din yan ng alon...

"..it's important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.. "

- The Zahir (Paolo Coelho)

What if who you were is better than who you are now? Should you still continue to be who you are and forget/stop being who you were?

I had this "not-so-good" conversation with an old friend, I chose not to reply to her last message because I didn't liked the way she reacted and her message was a bit rude and nakakabastos. It wasn't like her. I was so bothered so I told my mom and my sister about it. My ate's comment was "Ano ba yang mga nagiging kaibigan mo? Di ba may kinuwento ka na din dati na friend mo na nagtetext at tumatawag lang pag may kailangan?" The "friend" she was talking about? We weren't really that close, and to be honest uhm we're not even friends we were just uhm what? classmates? But this "old friend" is different, and she wasn't like that when I met her that's why I feel really sad and a bit disappointed. I wanted to tell her "Money isn't the only important thing in this world dear...and please stop blaming other people if things aren't going the way you wanted it to be".

I guess that proves it, change? it's inevitable.. relationships, environment, beliefs, these things change, people.. even friends. It's not too surprising to see enemies suddenly becoming bff's, but for us I guess it's the other way around...but uhm I hope not. I don't want to be in a "let's just pretend we never became friends" situation with her, she's still my friend after all...(but she surely is far different from the friend I met so-so years ago)

Anyway, after that "not-so-good" conversation I had with her I started wondering how much I've changed since we last met, and if these changes made me a better person or not. . .

Uhm, I don't know...I think.. I'm hating this..bow