Personal na buhay. Buhay ng Kapitbahay Kaskwela Katrabaho. Showbiz. Pelikula. Politika. Ekonomiya. Musika. o wala lang, yan ang makikita mo dito. Libreng tumambay. Hindi bawal ang magreact, di bawal ang sumang ayon, di bawal ang kiligin, maiyak, matuwa, matawa, matae. Upo na dito. Shot mo na!




“ Things will go where they're supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it's time for them to be hurt. Life is like that.. ”
-Norwegian Wood

TAG.ay!

Drinkin' buddies

Maki-shot sa kabilang kanto!
Altum_viditur. Ashley. Basilisk. Cecile. 'Ch13f. Chriska. Chwis. Claire. Cutepsycho. Earthlotus. Eli. Emong. Ewanko. Farrah. Fionixe. Ishii. Jade. Jc. Jezz. Jumar. Karlo.Pinoyblogero. Karlow. K.O. Kayen. Kingdaddyrich. Lali. Mars. Mundray. Pinoy Banda. Piper. Quinkoy. RF. Saturn. Sendo. Starrfish. TJ. Wacky. Wilson.

Kudos!

Designer Inspiration/Background Brushes
AdobePhotoshop

Anong nangyare?

May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 August 2009 September 2009 April 2010 May 2011

musika . letrato . pelikula . pagbabasa . kaibigan . pamilya . pag ibig . babae . lalake . ka-bitteran . pagsusulat . pangangarap . pagtanga . pagtawa . pagpapatawa . pagdaldal . pakikinig . pag muni muni . pagtambay . minsan minsang pagdadrama . madalas na pag alak d'yan umiikot ang buhay ko

January:

Thesis. Productions. Finals. The January pervert. Cried a few times, regretted a lot of things. Lost my phone. Lost myself. Fucked up month. Needed time for myself. Decided to go on Hiatus, to get rid of people I don't need in my life.

• Learn how to play the game of trust, know who deserves it, never mind those who don't
• Never be afraid of losing people who don’t deserve your time and attention, take the courage to let go and throw them out of your lives
• “It’s when problems are shared that solutions are found” – From Chowking’s fortune cookie 01-18-08
• “In the end you will always go back to the people that were there in the beginning.” – text quote from Jenny (That’s why I never take my friends for granted... mawala na lahat wag lang pamilya ko at sila.)
• “Sometimes it’s not love, sometimes, you’ve just become so attached that you’ve developed a need for that person... Just a need, not love... but you’re too scared to admit it, even to yourself...because you know that if you do, you might lose the only person that actually gives a damn about your life” – text quote from Heyna
• Learn to accept and love yourself, walang ibang gagawa niyan kundi ikaw... hindi kailangang nakadepende palagi sa iba ang pagiging masaya.

February:

Hiatus lasted until 11th of February. Started with a blast. Good vibes. Firsts. The longest yet shortest walk . One time big time. Three years ago we were strangers, snap! then we became friends. Finding myself. Brought back the old me. Valentine's darlings for the day with the Singles. A month of finding oneself, month of happiness and dreams turning in to reality.

• Don't stop dreaming, never stop hoping, dreams come true... kahit one time big time.

March:

A month of closing chapters and opening new ones. Graduation. Inumans as usual. Few heart to heart talks with friends.

• Treasure the friends you have, always be there for them
• Learn to accept changes in your life. Let go move on and be happy

April:

Early summer getaway. Bad news. "The world spins constantly, so does the color wheel". Sad month. Month of pain, regrets and wishes. pressure cooker 1 2 3 kaboom! Hello panget kamay!

• The world spins constantly, so does the color wheel – ana
• “Kahit ikaw ay parang bato manhid at walang pakiramdam, mag-ingat ka dahil kahit ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan... kaya mo namang makasakit” – Bob Ong
• NEVER BUKSAN ANG PRESSURE COOKER HABANG KUMUKULO

May:

Turned 21. Dead Stars. Deleted my old blog, trying to move on I guess. Deleted the entries but still saved a few. Moved to blogspot. Promised to write happier entries.

• “You’re gonna have your good days and your bad days”- South of Nowhere
• “So all these years-since when? - he had been seeing the light of dead stars , long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.”-Dead Stars
• Know when enough is enough.

June:

I was badly missing college life. A friend died. Had a sudden change of heart. Put half of my walls down. Still confused and hesitant though. Fears. Had my first ever exam and interview. Screwed up. Got reunited with my grade school and high school friends.June was a month of gambling,a month of courage.

• Don't try to push people out of your life, no one deserves to be taken for granted
• Even if you have new people/friends in your life, never forget those who were part of your past, for you will never complete your life’s puzzle if you lose some of its pieces.

July:

Indie month. Mommy and Daddy had to go to Cebu. Responsibilities. Growing up. Maturity. Hated the rain for reminding me of things/people I was trying to forget. Misunderstandings. Tried to give it another shot. Second chances.

• Never assume
• Learn how to take responsibilities
• Always be mindful of the things you do and the words you say

August:

Driving lessons. Ate was back from Dubai. Eheads reunion concert. Finally decided to get rid of the old dust to let the new ones in.

• No two things can occupy the same space at the same time – law of impenetrability
• Letting go might be hard yet it is the best way to let another stay

September:

Chill month. Inumans

• Find some time to chill, find and reconnect with the things or people you've grown apart from
• Drink.Get drunk.Laugh.have fun... then die haha

October:

A month of firsts. Major changes. Leaving comfort zones. Facing fears. Got hired. First work ever. Lots of inumans. Ate was back from Dubai again. Had my very first paycheck ever. Hello poverty. Finally decided to take my chances, cross the street, take the risks, throw myself in to the lions den.

• “I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.”---Greys Anatomy
• “BOUNDARIES don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. So you can waste your life drawing lines? Or you can live your life crossing them. Because here’s what I know, if you are willing to take the chance the view from the other side is Spectacular.”---Greys Anatomy

November

Reunion. Wanted to quit my job. "Nagsisimula ka palang quitter ka na" - Mommy

• Patience is a virtue ahaha!

December

December 5 was my last day of being a copywriter. I sure am gonna miss them. Had a burgis Christmas party. Applied again and got hired. Got my license. Family reunions. Back to Bulacan. And just recently found out I've been lied to thank you very much.

• Again Patience is a Virtue
• AGAIN learn how to play the game of trust
• Learn to hate pride

All in all my 2008 was full of Ups and Downs, Yeheys and boo-hoos. But at least I managed to see the lessons in those downs and boo-hoo moments and even in the ups and yeheys hahaha.
This year I’ve gained lots of new friends, and unfortunately lost some.
I’ve made decisions, and regretted some.
But all is done.
I wouldn’t want to waste my short life looking back, feeling bad and regretting things.

and so i quote.....my 18 year old self ahahahahhaha

...always remember to look on the brighter side of life, appreciate every moment, every little thing around us, enjoy each and every moment in life, even the fucked up ones... because in this journey, you can only go forward... there’s no turning back..

Yehey thank you 2008!

I'm ready to let you go.

Good bye!

I'll miss you. I'll miss the old me... young, careless, and stupid.

Hello 2009! I'm ready.. C'mon let's get it on!

Labels: 2008, ako, alcohol, babae, bliss, career, driving, eraserheads, family, friendship, hate, life, love, nostalgia, past, present, quote, regrets, tala, welcome

I never asked you the same questions twice, because I believed in everything you said. I never doubted.

I knew you wouldn't lie.

I knew... because you promised.

I never judged you because you were my friend, and we had this bond. or so i thought.

I trusted you. I shouldn't have.

You even said that I was the only one who understands you, and I really DID.

I never hated you, even though you left us like nothing happened, like you never knew us.

but now I think I do


I so hate you and your fucking lies!

You are such a waste.

again this year's "Best Liar" award goes to you.. *clap clap*

Labels: friendship, hate, life, pain, regrets, users

Lost for words.

I'm just so disappointed right now.

When will I ever learn to play the game of trust.


Trust:

The attitude of expecting good performance from another party, whether in
terms of loyalty, goodwill, truth, or promises. The importance of trust as a
kind of invisible glue that binds society together is most visible when it is
lost.

Trust involves an element of risk, and epistemologists
can have trouble categorizing it as rational, since it works best in advance,
for example to motivate performance on occasions when defection may be to the
advantage of the person trusted. Trustworthiness is a virtue, subsuming
varieties such as truthfulness and fidelity.

Labels: friendship, hate, life, past, regrets, users

Minsan humihiling tayo sa langit ng mga bagay na akala nating makakapagpasaya sa'tin. Gabi-gabi dinadasal mo na sana ibigay sayo yung pinakaaasam mong bagay.

Sabi nila kung para sa'yo talaga ang isang bagay, ibibigay sa'yo yun anu't ano man ang mangyari.

Pero pano kung isang araw ibigay sa'yo yung bagay na pinakaaasam mo. Yung bagay na gabi-gabi mong sinasama sa mga dasal mo, yung bagay na akala mo ngang makakapagpasaya sa'yo...

Tapos sa kalgitnaan ng akala mong kasiyahan, maiisip mo... gusto mo nga ba talaga yan? Bakit hindi ka naman masaya? Bakit ka nahihirapan? Bakit ka naiiyak? Bakit parang biglang ayaw mo na?

Ilang araw ko na din talagang pinag iisipan kung masaya pa nga ba ko. Unang araw palang yata naramdaman ko nang nahihirapan ako, at hindi ako masyadong nasisiyahan. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, tingnan ko muna baka hirap lang akong mag-adjust. Ilang weeks na nakalipas.. at habang tumatagal mas lalo kong narerealize at nararamdaman na hindi na nga ako masaya.

Kanina nag text ako kay Daddy. "Hindi na ko masaya sa ginagawa ko, baka hindi ko nalang ituloy 'to" sabi ko. Sabi naman niya "Cge".

Pero iniisip ko, ano nang gagawin ko sa buhay ko pagkatapos? Mag-aral? Maghanap ng ibang trabaho? O ituloy ko na yung business ni Daddy?..

Sa mga oras na 'to hinihiling kong huminto ang lahat maliban sa'kin, para naman magkaron ako ng oras na mag-isip.

Ito ang pinakaayaw ko sa lahat.

Yung pipigilan mong matulog sa gabi sa pag-aakala mong mapipigilan nito yung bukas.

O kaya naman pipilitin mong matulog at hihilingin mong wag ka na sanang magising sa mga susunod pang bukas.

Over na ko sa ganyang stage ng buhay ko eh.

Nahanap ko na yung kasiyahang hinahanap ko nuon, nawala na naman ngayon.

Pagod ako..

Pagod na talaga..





oras. panahon

Hintayin mo naman ako kahit saglit lang. Huminto ka muna habang inaalam ko kung anu ngang dapat kong gawin sa buhay.


ako.

Bilisan mong mag-isip hindi dahil ka hihintayin ng panahon. Pumili ka at matuto kang panindigan yung mga desisyong ginagawa mo sa buhay.

IKAW.

Bakit Mo 'to binigay sa'kin kung hindi ko naman pala ikasisiya. Ay hiniling ko nga pala. Para sa'kin ba talaga to? O binigay Mo lang 'to dahil hiniling ko? Tulungan Mo kong makita ang lesson sa likod ng lahat ng nangyayari na 'to. Tulungan Mo rin akong maialis yung sarili ko dito at mahanap at makuha kung anu man yung ikasisiya ko talaga, yung hindi ko pagsisisihan sa huli.. kung hindi naman, wag Mo na kong gisingin bukas.

Labels: ako, career, damned, hate, life, regrets

Labels: babae, love, past, regrets

malapit na konting iyak lang to

"...have a gudnyt! pabasag tayo tom :)"

gabi:

pwede na ulit akong mag isip..

pwede nang hindi magpigil ng iyak dahil wala nang makakakita..

matatapos din 'to..

bukas sasaya ako

salamat sa gabi

salamat sa mga kaibigan

salamat sa painkillers

salamat sa antok

bukas sana nga sumaya ako

Labels: ako, babae, hate, love, pain, regrets